Scentsationally Awkward

I've been told I have a "smell" by numerous people.  Most of the time, it's a compliment (at least that's what they tell me...).

My "smell" is courtesy of my Aunt Jan and Skin Musk.

Skin Musk

This is what my aunt (JB) wears.  She's worn it for as long as I can remember and it always smells like home to me.  It doesn't smell the same way on me as it does on JB, but it's close.  Apparently, every individual body has different chemicals, so the oils or fragrances you use will smell differently on other people.  I like that.  I like that I can wear JB's scent, but it smells like me.  I've been wearing "the Musk" since high school.  I love it--it's cheap (found at your local Walgreens), it's unique, and it lasts throughout the day (although it usually smells a little differently at the end of the day than when I first put it on in the morning).

Most of the time, no one really notices my smell.  This is good.  Obviously, I don't want to be the stinky girl, but I also don't want my scent to overpower anyone who comes near.  Just like I don't want to be the crazy old lady with a lot of cats, I also don't want to be the crazy old lady who douses herself with heavy, overly floral scents.  You know the old lady I mean.  She wears a lot of large floral prints, is fond of polyester, carries a large purse, wears bright pink lipstick (usually has a little on her teeth), and has a heavy, powdery, scent that makes you wonder what she's trying to cover up.  Yeah.  Definitely don't want to be her.

Occasionally, however, people do notice my smell.  Old roommates have told me, "Our house smells like you."  I'm like a human Glade wall plug-in.  One of my more effeminate male students told me in his charming lisp, "Miss A!  Oooo, girl, you smell so nice!"  People at church hug me and say, "Oh you smell so good!"  And then they hug me again and stick their nose in my neck, inhaling deeply.  OK, so that's a little awkward...

The most awkward of stories happened at a wrestling tournament where I was keeping score recently.  Wrestling tournaments usually aren't full of good smells.  A gym full of sweating high school boys rolling around on mats while clad in tight spandex is not a recipe for good smells.  So maybe that's why my smell was noticed.  It was completely out of context for wrestling regulars.

I was sitting at the scorer's table keenly watching the match on display a few feet in front of me with my colleague who was running the clock.  It was an intense match, so I didn't want to miss anything and screw up the score.  If that happens, people usually yell, and I'm not a fan of people yelling at me.  Especially wrestler's moms.  They can be scary ladies.

I hardly noticed the man walking behind the scorer's table until he stopped and said, "Something sure smells good over here!"  It was a harmless comment.  He could be referring to anything, so we ignored him.  But our encounter wasn't over.  He said, "No seriously, it smells really good over here."  So my colleague joked, "It's probably me.  I actually took a shower this morning, unlike most of yahoos here."  We all chuckled, but the man didn't leave.  Instead, he walked back over to me, leaned in until his nose nearly touched my clavicle, and breathed in deeply.  Then he stepped back saying, "Wow.  What are you wearing?  It really smells great."

I was in shock, so I turned and looked at the older, shorter, and creepier version of Sean Penn and stammered, "Uhhh...it's just oil."  He walked away then and I turned to my colleague and asked, "Did that just happen?  I just got sniffed!  So awkward!"  In retrospect, there are so many other more fitting things I could have said other than, "It's just oil" especially since my encounter with the sniffing stranger is now infamous.  (My colleague is hilarious and usually very inappropriate, so he's made several jokes about my "essence"....)

Having a creepy old man's nose in my neck crevice was awkward, but, it makes for a good story, so I can laugh and embrace yet another awkward moment of my life.