Things I do in the car (and hope no one notices):

Lately, I've been spending a lot of time in my car.  And I've found that there are a lot of things I can do in my car.  And I probably shouldn't do most of them while driving.

So here's my list of things I do in the car (while driving) that might be awkward if anyone actually saw or heard me:

1.  Eating French fries.  I admit, I know they're bad for me, but sometimes I just swing through the drive-through and before you know it, they're in the car with me.  The awkward part is dipping them in honey-mustard sauce while keeping a hand on the steering wheel.  The other awkward part is that I don't want anyone to know that I actually eat fast food.  Especially French fries.  Oink.

2.  Changing my shirt. Obviously changing in the privacy of your own home or locker room is ideal, but like I said, I've been traveling way more than usual and there have been a few occasions when I've needed to change my top and haven't been anywhere close to home.  I probably could have pulled into a gas station or something, but that seemed like too much work.  (I'm kind of lazy.)  The trick is find a stretch where there are no other cars within viewing distance.  Also a good idea to avoid streets with lots of stoplights...

3.  Praying.  I like praying out loud, it's just easier for me to communicate if I speak instead of trying to have a conversation with God in my head.  So, when I'm in the car, it's a great time to just let it out.  A lot of the time, I end up crying throughout the conversation.  Sometimes I pound on the steering wheel or yell, but it's usually crying.  And then I wonder what people would think if they happened to see me praying in the car.  It might be awkward.  A woman talking (seemingly to herself) and crying.  Definitely awkward moment material.  I usually pray out loud when I'm on the highway or when it's dark outside to protect my prayer from peepers, but sometimes it's an emergency and I just have to let it out.  One time, I was driving down the highway in broad daylight and weeping profusely.  A semi passed me and the passenger had a sign in the window motioning me to pull over.  Maybe I was weaving in my lane or something.  Anyhow, I just kept driving until I was cried out.  Very cathartic (and awkward).

4. Speaking of release... farting.  Yep, you gotta let that out too.  Even when in the car.  I think my face might give away the fact that I'm releasing a beast--you know when your body goes rigid, except for that one cheek that's lifted, and your face does this clenching, concentrating thing.  How awkward would that be if you were stopped at a red light and looked over and you could actually tell the person in the car next to you was passing some major gas?  Awkward and highly entertaining.

5.  Cleaning up after spilling coffee on your lap.  I imagine it looks a little weird when you are shifting around trying to find a towel or extra napkins and then patting your crotch trying to soak up the excess coffee.

6.  Singing along.  And then you remember that your window is down and the person in the car next to you can hear everything.  And you were singing along to a Celine Dion song!

Maybe this less about awkward and more about self-consciousness.